’twas the week before Xmas 

14th December 2010 | Posted in Daftness

Listen! >
‘twas the week before Xmas and all through the firm,
The sneezes and snuffles were causing concern.
With pasty grey faces and bags under eyes,
The spread of infection was not a surprise.

But, as Mary from Finance had said through her tissue,
This month, time off was never an issue.
With shopping and baking and presents to wrap,
There was no time for sickness even if you felt crap.
And work in it’s way was a break from the home noise
Of screaming excitement from young girls and small boys.

So on they grumbled and cheered up the workplace
With tinsel and streamers and the usual clichés.
And Joe in the warehouse raised seasonal chuckles
When he plastered his fork-lift with fake snow and baubles.
And ‘though no-one said so, they all thought it was ‘real nice’
When the girls in reception switched on the Xmas tree lights.

Bosses got presents from grateful suppliers,
And sat in their meetings for hours and hours
On next year’s budgets and bonus and planning the future
Bribing spouses with outfits for the Director’s annual dinner.
Nic from HR emailed copies of policy
On conduct and behaviour at the staff Xmas party.

And everyone knew when the party began
When the girls from Accounts started dancing to ‘Wham’
That Rudi from Production should reign it in
When he cornered his boss and started pointing at him
But no-one saved him; too busy to notice:
Playing ‘hot or not’, voting who looked the cutest.

The following morning, nursing headaches with coffee
They all swapped war stories; agreed it was shocking
(Except for HR who couldn’t share what they’d seen,
they were writing the letter for Rudi’s disciplinary meeting)
They all looked around to see who was most happy
And Mel said that he’d seen young Kaspar snog Magi.

‘twas the week before Xmas and all through the firm,
The sneezes and snuffles had caused them concern.
But somehow, they’d made it and now they went home
With a hug and a kiss and a ‘Merry Xmas Everyone’.

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